oh. my. god.
Two more months and it’s 2015 what the fuck
I swear it was 2012 and we were all freaking out about the world ending like three months ago
This Halloween, I’m dressing up as Maleficent and going to all the parties I wasn’t invited to.
The hottest things I’ve ever been told.
I’m just picturing someone screaming “BONJOUR” at a penis
#SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA#HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS
None of you should ever be having sex
I don’t cashier anymore but whenever I got this look (for doing MY JOB) I then marked every other bill. Even ones. Because don’t be squinty with me for doing MY JOB.
that one song about closing the goddamn door
haven’t you people ever heard of it
diD YOU JUST
i was trying to make my friend a bday cake but the dye on the decorative icing started leaking and dripping everywhere so it accidentally became the most ominous and violent looking baked good ive ever seen…… i slapped on some sprinkles to try and make it less threatening looking. it worked a little bit.
I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.